Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Mom Brain

Everything changes once you have kids.

You never really get the magnitude of that statement until it actually happens. Details as minute as what time you start baking the bread in the oven so you can sit down and actually enjoy it warm become a series of DEFCON 5 strategically laid out plans - BUT ONLY TO YOU.

Sometimes I envy how Hillsy stills seems to be able to operate as usual... take a shower when he wants to, spend 20 minutes on the toilet (guilt-free), walk out the door without having to think about whether or not the diaper bag has been restocked, meet up with a friend and not have to worry about his breasts filling up with milk. Me? There's a lot of buzzing and planning in my head. I call it my mom-brain. Yep, the same one that now takes a minute or two to remember where I parked the car. Events and actions aren't what they used to be. Every action prongs out into scenarios, thought bubbles and check boxes... usually looking out as far as 3 to 6 hours ahead. Dad brains don't really work this way. Well at least not in my experience and not according to most of my girlfriends. Maybe single dads?

So what's my point? Jess and others out there who are pregnant with their first...
Be as spontaneous as you can, schedule a bunch of "me" time, hang out with your girlfriends. Do you (while you still can). Enjoy the silence in your head. Take advantage of it coz once your little bundle is out, it may be a loooong while until your brain will allow you think of only yourself. Some will even argue - never.

Now I understand why my friend Melissa sleeps soooo late. She describes it as being drunk with freedom (after the kids are asleep). I get it. Finally! As much as I enjoy my days with Emma, I always look forward to the hours after I lay her down to sleep at night. I guess for now it's as close as I'm gonna get to pre mom brain. I'll take it!


Baskets Of Quilts said...

Wow! That's exactly what I'm feeling right now with my 3 month old baby girl! Thanks for reminding me that these feelings are normal!

Karen said...'s get it so's probably cause of the way women are wired...but why can't it be easy for me to just decide to have some time to myself without feeling guilty about not making dinner for one night...or wanting to read a book in my myself...
anyway - it does get that m & j are 7 & 4, i find a lot more free time on my hands. it's all about ME now :-)

lisa maksoudian said...


A mommy's brain really is one jammed circuit for YEARS!

Ez said...

Oh gosh Marichelle! You KNOW I hear you on this one! Feels like a "You'll see" moment in the making. ;-)
xo ez

Chris and Kay said...

reading your blog made me want to hold you for a while,i remember not being able to go to the toilet,drink a cup of tea,eat a sandwich,take a shower "IN PEACE"but it will change.there is that silver thread that joins your heart with your child,s and you will have that forever,you will always be selfless when it comes to their needs,but dont ever feel guilty when you want some Marichelle time you and all mums DESERVE it

Marichelle said...

@Baskets Of Quilts so glad you can relate!
@karen happy to hear that the answer is "never"
@lisa :)
@Ez lol, You'll see... life lessons :)
@chrisandkay Aww thank you so much Mrs. H, that means so much! It's ALL very worth it right?

Chris and Kay said...

it,s ALL very worth it,you are exactly right,there is a much bigger picture,it is precious.

Christie said...

Marichelle, I love your descriptions of mom-brain and DEFCON5. So true!

With two daughters (8 and 3 yrs old), I now attribute my mom-brain to the fact that it has become nearly impossible to attend to any one task from beginning to end without constant interruptions (usually ominous thumps or whispered "uh-ohs"). I am forever wandering around the house wondering which half-finished project I was working on last.

Wishing you a few luscious moments of guilt-free silence!

mjb said...

I walked out of work today completely unsure of what car I had driven to work this morning, and am realizing that if I were to be asked at any moment what season it is, I can't remember. I keep forgetting if summer is in front of or behind us (which I guess considering that it's winter, the answer would be both - ha). But it's awesome the way I'm learning to adapt and prioritize, too!